I’ve spent a great deal of time working with, and just chatting with, Wedding Suppliers, all over the world.
And when you spend so much focussed energy on one group of people, you do tend to notice similarities, recurring themes and pervasive thought patterns. It helps too that Wedding Suppliers are also Creatives – and that’s a language I speak pretty much natively.
So after years of building and developing relationships with creative Wedding Suppliers, I’ve come to value three pillars of creative output which I believe inform most, if not all of our thoughts, feelings and emotions towards our work. At the very least, they are at the core of what drives us and enables our creative output to be delivered.
The three pillars are “Drive”, “Confidence” and “Satisfaction”.
We may possess an abundance of Drive, but no Confidence.
Or have boundless Satisfaction, and no Drive!
So you can start to see how important it becomes to have these three pillars in balance.
The first of these influential pillars is “Drive”, without which, well… we wouldn’t get anywhere!
Our sense of drive is what compels us towards taking action. Any action!
Drive is the starting block for any creative endeavour. In order to succeed you first must be driven! Whether that’s driven to get started, driven to build confidence, driven to learn, or driven to realise your dreams. Ideally, you need to be in this state 100% – but life has other plans and we can’t always be driving at 100% – at times this may even drop to 0% – that’s ok! The important thing to remember is that awareness is most of the work!
Let’s say you wake up tomorrow and you’re feeling a bit “off” – you can’t quite work out why, but today feels different from yesterday. You’re not all the way dialled in. That’s a pretty normal experience for most people. The magic happens when you start to isolate the root cause of why this may be. “Drive” might be the one aspect of you that’s not in gear today and that’s going to make everything that much harder to accomplish.
You could be as confident as they come and as satisfied with your life as is humanly possible, but if that drive isn’t there, well… less is going to happen!
Again that’s totally OK! The important thing is to recognise this in yourself so that you are prepared to handle how you feel, rather than just be the victim of how you feel!
It’s true what they say, knowledge is power!
An increase in drive is mostly likely going to come from having high levels of confidence. So it becomes essential to maintain our confidence, in order to maintain our drive. These pillars are intrinsically linked!
The second pillar is “confidence”. This controls your ability to take action… well, confidently. And that means with focus and precision.
Lack of confidence need not be systemic, but rather isolated to some aspect of your creative work where you don’t feel as confident. You may love talking to Clients, but you’re not quite there yet for going Live on Social. You might argue that holds you back, if that were part of your marketing plan, or vision for your Business, or ideal based on what you deem to be industry norms or accepted practices of today. It doesn’t matter, the key is that you’re unable, reluctant or not fully ready to do “x”, because your confidence in that area is currently too low.
Again, that’s totally OK, and it’s totally normal to feel this way.
Confidence is born from experience and teaching your brain to accept that previously imagined fears are far lesser in reality than conceptually.
But this process will begin again nearly every single time you try something new. And business… well that’s something that is constantly changing.
Just like Drive, Confidence is something you can recognise against the specific tasks within your creative work, and is something you can actively choose to develop through practice and experience.
I literally cannot count the number of times I have seen confidence rise in Wedding Suppliers simply by being, or by doing. It’s not an enigma, it just means immersing yourself into something to re-teach your brain to react more positively to it.
If your Drive is dialled all the way up, this will be so much easier to accomplish. Drive pushes you towards Confidence through the simple act of being, and doing!
The third pillar is “Satisfaction”. Doing without receiving any satisfaction is a sure fire way to kill our Confidence and our Drive. So you can now start to see how this rolls back down through the 3 pillars.
But how we define our satisfaction is something that needs such careful consideration! First and foremost is our locus of evaluation – the location in which we are seeking or applying evaluation from. Is that internal or external? Is it evaluation based on our own lived sense of value, or is it evaluation based on the opinions, maybe even prejudices, maybe even disinterest, of external percipients.
WHO is making the evaluation of worth, is it you, or is it someone else. How much do you value that opinion and how should that weigh in against your own sense of satisfaction.
Ultimately satisfaction is easily described in the Wedding Industry as having done a gone job for the Clients. It becomes satisfactory as it should lead to more of the same kind of work and the fulfilment of our ambition to be busy… and to be paid. But you and I both know that there is so much more going on here!
As Creatives, we crave self validation and an appreciation that we are either performing at the very top of our ability, at all times, or constantly seeking to one up our past performance, in the pursuit of horizons never reached. I’ve discuss the pros and cons of both at great length in other articles, but suffice it to say here that a balance must be achieved between being satisfied with our work as a whole and seeking to be “artistic”, and everything that description implies.
Ultimately if we HAVE satisfied the client, we HAVE satisfied the basic requirement of our effort.
It would be our creative needs that are more complex and should be explored as to exactly what that means to us, individually.
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and let’s build a stronger Wedding Industry together!