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Wedding Industry Mental Health – Imposter Syndrome – Intruder Alert!

Wedding Industry Mental Health - Imposter Syndrome

You’ve not doubt heard the phrase “imposter syndrome” bounded about. You may have even used it on occasion to describe how you feel.

Honestly, I think it has negative connotations, and feeds that inner voice that serves to steer us away from risk, or taking chances… not ideal for Creatives!

That inner voice – that’s the dialogue you’re having with yourself on a nearly constant basis.

And who exactly are we talking to?

Well that would be ourselves, but a risk adverse, scared, reluctant, marginalised and minimalist version of our better, more confident selves.

A construct, a fictional character, usually delusional and muddling our thoughts based on incorrect assumptions of irrational non facts.

Schizophrenia is a term used to describe a serious mental illness in a person and the NHS describe the symptoms as follows:

Symptoms of schizophrenia include: 

  • hallucinations – hearing or seeing things that do not exist outside of the mind.
  • delusions – unusual beliefs not based on reality.
  • muddled thoughts based on hallucinations or delusions.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/schizophrenia/overview/

But I feel that to some lesser or greater degree, we are all experiencing these symptoms as part of the human condition. It’s simply how we rationalise our options, make choices and forge a path through life.

Can you recall the last time you stopped to have an irrational mental conversation with yourself? For me? 30 minutes ago in the Supermarket! It is that common!!

Do I talk to the voices in my head? Yes! All the time. Am I diagnosed or clinically schizophrenic? No! I don’t think so!

So back to imposter syndrome and how it affects our daily lives and mental health within the Wedding Industry…

As Creatives, we’re constantly on the cusp – torn between breakdown and breakthrough. Questioning our output, challenging our own status quo and looking for the next big thing or the next amazing opportunity to prove ourselves.

It is simultaneously the best way to seek constant improvement in the pursuit of excellence and the worst way to stress ourselves out to the point of snapping.

It’s art! We’re artists!

So there’s going to come a day when you’re looking at yourself and your accomplishments, and asking your inner voice if you truly do have the chops for this next assignment, project or challenge.

And what do we tell ourselves? Well that varies depending on the level or intensity of pressure that we’re feeling…

But it so often manifests as “imposter syndrome”. That feeling that we’re not qualified or experienced enough to do it.

And that’s odd!

Ask yourself – have you ever thought “I need a qualification before I can…”, “no one will take me seriously unless I’m a….”. Sound familiar?

In truth, you don’t need someone else’s permission (legal restrictions aside)  to do what you’re “able” to do. If you originally had the thought that you can… then sure, go out and prove it to yourself, and do that confidently.

I’m a big believer in the fact that you wouldn’t have been able to think it was possible, if you weren’t already capable of doing it.

That’s the mantra I live by, it has served me well over the years.

Sometimes, yes, I miss the mark. Sometimes I miss the mark by a considerable margin!! But it’s the doing and not giving in to the imposter syndrome that truly enables you.

In short, it proves that you can try. And that in itself is incredibly self empowering!

Try and fail, try again. That’s how we learn and progress.

Give up and you will never know. That’s how we nurture regret and even more imposter syndrome.

It’s hard. I don’t think it’s easy. I don’t make light of it being simple, or just a matter of mindset. It’s a product of nurturing confidence and gaining the support you need to empower yourself.

If you need someone to box your corner, a shoulder to lean on or someone to wave your banner and cheer you on, you’re already in the right place!

Find out more about our philanthropic work with Wedding Industry Mental Health, get support or become an advocate here:

and let’s build a stronger Wedding Industry together!

#weddingindustrymentalhealth

Wedding Industry Mental Health - True Worth

We live in a capitalist society. That means that we have certain opportunity within that society to carve out our own fortune. To make our own mark. To forge our own destiny, great or small.

Essentially, you can make as much money and accumulate as much wealth as you’re able.

The idealistic view of this for Creatives is that we should therefore have the opportunity to help as many people as we are able, and to profit from the provision of the help that we provide.

Creative output is something that helps people, it satisfies, it comforts, it supports, it emboldens and it soothes.

But our society places too much value on wealth, and the visibility of your wealth as an expression of how successful you are within that society. 

Society labels us and encourages us to be “consumers” – and when you actually stop to take stock of that word… “consumers”… we’re actually not givers. We’re takers. We don’t assist, nurture, support, help, provide, enable, grow… we consume!

Consumption – It sounds like some sort of irrepressible black hole absorbing everything in its path.

Doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it?

Is there any satisfaction to be had from being a consumer… 

Well yes, I’d argue that short term enjoyment does come from our consumption, when it is metered, controlled and with thought given to the impact and result of that act of consumption – be it food, films, books, music, or even experience…

You can consume a meal, but share it with friends.

You can consume a book, and start a book club.

So long term, lifelong satisfaction, well that’s always going to come from your contribution to society after the fact…

not what you’ve taken from it.

It’s the bit that comes afterwards, the result of your consumption that matters.

So we find ourselves in a quandary!

We should try to put in and give back, through our creative endeavours…

Whilst simultaneously taking from society what we need to survive and to provide for our families.

The very act of provision does in fact serve our need for self satisfaction, and it’s a noble pursuit, however, the ever present danger is to determine our own inner sense of value and self worth based on wealth, rather than actual real world value.

Your value is determined by how you have helped others. This is your value to humanity as a whole. Humanity has little interest in how much money you’ve made or how much wealth you have accumulated.

Wealth is exclusively the concern of the society we live in.

In pretty much every single conversation I’ve had with someone reaching the end of their days, it has been the experience, the human connection and the worthwhile work, that have held the most value to that individual ultimately.

So the next time you find yourself  asking what your true value is, consider your contribution towards others. Not what you’ve managed to take and to consume, but rather what you’ve managed to give and the change that has made in the world!

It might be that you’d like to discuss this with someone who is skilled in helping you find your inner truth and discover your true value.

Please go here:

and let’s build a stronger Wedding Industry together!

#weddingindustrymentalhealth

Wedding Industry Mental Health - Talking Therapies For Mental Health

Do you need talking therapy? Do you even know?

Do you even know how to know?

Those are all serious questions!

England, in particular, is famous for it’s “stiff upper lip” – the idea that we are resilient, resourceful and capable even in the face of adversity!

Which is fine, stoicism is a virtue. It creates heroes, it enables our better natures, it enforces standards, and it upholds strength of purpose.

But it can also blind us to the truth of our situational condition.

And let us not forget that we are human!

I’ve seen countless Wedding Suppliers rise and fall due to personal difficulties dealing with their own internal monologue, self doubt and self limiting beliefs.

Hard working, honest, talented people who have hit their psychological brick wall due to any of the near countless mental obstacles that plague nearly all of us from time to time.

Some people are more “stiff upper lip” in the ability to cope and to self manage. Other people are just not as well rehearsed or resilient – through lack of experience or just inherent ability. We are all different.

So it shouldn’t be a stretch to seek help when we need it.

And we should know how to identify the signs that signpost us towards needing it!

Seeking help isn’t shameful, or weak. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

When you actively seek help and support in a time of stress, distress, worry or anxiety, YOU ARE in control.

But the stigma surrounding the idea of seeking help prevents us from realising the truth of this realisation. 

If you research the super successful people of our time, you’ll find they have armies of counsellors, mentors, advisors and mental conditioning experts. They read books on self optimisation and perform ritual, habitual practices to ensure their optimum condition at all times.

Most of us however cannot afford that level of support and attention, and perhaps in our lives, we don’t need it.

But that is not to say that we don’t need some support!

Our lives are a complex web of information overload, and at times it’s hard to pay attention to our own needs, never mind the needs of those around us.

Talking therapy is an opportunity to re-connect with our inner thoughts and feelings. To explore exactly how we feel, what that means in our daily lives, and how we might make subtle changes or course corrections, to re-establish the conditions we originally sought to establish for ourselves.

Our discussion and self disclosure with those closest to us is so often coloured with preconditioning or learned behaviour. So often we don’t even realise that we’re acting subconsciously on these inherent behaviours. And our behaviour really does change depending on who we are interacting with. That’s just how we are.

In talking therapy, these preconditioned behaviours are less likely to be present, and even less likely to be responded to. This leaves the truth of your inner most feelings and experiences to be discussed openly, without the distortion of pre-existing relationships.

Whilst we are not licenced Counsellors or Psychotherapists, we do offer a safe environment for you to explore talking therapy and determine for yourself, the value of having an impartial ear to hear you. We can then reflect back on what we have heard, with you, enabling you to determine the validity of your own thoughts against your own expectations and self truth.

Find out more about our philanthropic work with Wedding Industry Mental Health, get support or become an advocate here:

and let’s build a stronger Wedding Industry together!

#weddingindustrymentalhealth

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