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Wedding Industry Mental Health – Enquiry > Keen > Crickets

Wedding Industry Mental Health - Enquiry > Keen > Crickets

So we’ve all been there at some point – that amazing Couple get in touch, you check your diary – you’re available!!! They seem really, really keen… and then… well, crickets!

You don’t hear another word.

And it hurts!!

Worse, it makes a dent in your mental health and mental wellbeing.

This comes as no surprise really! After all, that’s when that inner voice starts to question everything about you – am I good enough? Is someone else better than me? Did they go to them? Am I too expensive? Do I deserve to be doing this?

And so on and so on. It’s a self destructive cycle that’s hardwired into our very DNA.

It helps to understand WHY this is happening! Here we go…

Firstly, our brains are wired to avoid danger. It’s a basic necessity of life to preserve itself. So when we meet adversity, the first thing we are programmed to do… is run! 

Fast!

In short, seek pleasure, avoid pain!

But that’s simply not the way our world runs today. It’s so much more complicated than that… for better, or worse. Maybe it’s both!

Secondly, that inner voice is actually there to help you, but I’m not at all sure that we’re taught to see it that way.

If you listen to your inner voice, accept it, let it in, don’t panic, don’t bolt, but rather welcome its opinion and accept it’s truth, well, there’s some pretty amazing stuff to be found.

Your inner voice is there to protect you, sure. and that means fight or flight response, INITIALLY. But then it’s also there to steer you in the right direction. To make incremental tiny changes towards a more satisfactory outcome.

When you take charge of your inner voice, it becomes a super power, enabling you to take what you learnt from your disappointment, and use it to progress towards success.

Of course, that’s an oversimplification, and it’s going to take some practice, but being aware of what’s actually happening to you, well that’s half the battle.

That means that you’re now 50% more effective at dealing with your enquiry frustrations from here on out!

Plus, and you may not be aware of this either… those tiny incremental changes and adaptations make you better and better, stronger and stronger, right up to the point where the place you stand today, is a million miles from where you began.

If you want to cut down a tree, you start with a single swing!

Find out more about our philanthropic work with Wedding Industry Mental Health, get support or become an advocate here:

and let’s build a stronger Wedding Industry together!

#weddingindustrymentalhealth

Wedding Industry Mental Health - Transference Rejection Detection

You may or may not be aware of transference and it’s tricksy twin, counter transference!

It can be the road block stopping you from succeeding at your highest potential!

As humans, we can fall foul to ruining a relationship or potential relationship, maybe even scaring off a potential client, by allowing ourselves to be compromised by our mannerisms, through this thing known as transference

Transference is essentially when you  project an opinion onto someone else because of a deeply routed psychological association.

Not that sounds fancy, so let’s make it simple!

Prejudice – that’s an easy one! You may project a slightly different version of yourself due to some prejudices that you’re harbouring. It alters the way you communicate and interact with another person.

Awe – you must have experienced this one at some point!! That moment when you get talking to someone who you just feel is “better” than you. Whether that’s better educated, more financially successful or perhaps better dressed, better spoken, better at socialising etc etc. You instantly take a back seat and allow them to dominate the space. You transfer an opinion, rightly or wrongly about that other person’s levels of success.

The amazing irony is that they might simply not see it the same way as you do!

But there are more complicated ones too!

Sexual attraction – you may find yourself projecting a sense of advance towards another individual because you find yourself sexually attracted to them. 

Star struck! Ever seen someone that looks like someone famous that you like or respect? I bet you have! Are you now treating that person slightly differently because of the association you’ve made in your brain? Possibly!

There are countless other examples.

Now counter transference is when the other person takes your transference and reacts differently to it than they would normally act around (let’s say) normal you!

And that can lead to problems in your relationships!

If you’re not aware of your potential for transference, you’ll do it subconsciously, and that, at times, can actually lead to rejection or even repulsion in the relationship that you’re trying to establish. Maybe this relationship is with a potential client!

When we’re rejected by other people, well here we are again, we feel belittled, rejected, unworthy, worthless etc. It damages our mental health and our self esteem.

So I’d caution you to try something else instead to keep your mental health in tip top condition!

Look for the transference from the other person. Try and feel how they are approaching you. What are their levels of self confidence like? How confident do they feel about you?

When you become aware of this happening, you’ll succeed where others have failed and become more confident and effective at developing relationships.

This, in turn, enables you to book more clients, receive even better testimonials and ascend to whatever heights of personal satisfaction you are looking for.

If you’re interested in learning more, or becoming a Wedding Industry Mental Health Advocate…

Please go here:

and let’s build a stronger Wedding Industry together!

#weddingindustrymentalhealth

Wedding Industry Mental Health - Production Frustration

Perfectionism! Probably a term you’ve heard but it’s possible that the true meaning has been obscured.

Essentially someone who seeks perfection.

So someone who always does great work, right?

Well no, not exactly!

Perfectionism can be as much a curse as it is a blessing, and it affects many, many creative people.

It’s actually a mental cycle of continually upping the levels of acceptable outcome. That right there, can lead to some seriously disturbing mental health issues.

Humans are wired to feel down when they don’t find success in what they are doing. It’s a reptile brain function to push you towards achievement rather than failure.

The issue with perfectionism is that it continually pushes the need for greater and greater levels of success until finally, the point of unattainable or unsustainable is reached. And then disappointment is a foregone conclusion of ANY effort, regardless how good or successful it is.

So that’s a pretty dangerous trap that we can fall victim to!

Basically laying waste to our mental health and mental wellbeing, leaving us shattered and lost.

An offshoot of this, which I personally find incredibly debilitating is what I like to refer to as “Production Frustration”.

Production Frustration hits when you have all the creative energy in the world, and you’re ready to go… but there’s nothing to do.

And this particular scenario is linked so closely to the Wedding Industry and those who work in it.

If we’re lucky, we get a full diary with very little downtime.

But for many who work in the Wedding Industry, the work is a secondary income or dream job, leaving diaries quite erratic and the bursts of creative output, quite sporadic.

I find it’s useful to always have an ace in the hole. I organise my work so as to always have pick me ups – little reminders and moments of achievement that carry the vibe and stave of Production Frustration.

I liken it to “starting to feel down? NO chance! I’m too busy!”.

My mind, like many creatives out there, likes to know FO’ SURE that there’s something coming up on the horizon. A creative high point that keeps coming around, no matter what.

It might not be enough to rely simply on having enough clients, or working enough “amazing” commissions, or even having enough family or personal time. Creatives crave that buzz, that satisfaction that comes exclusively from the act of doing!

So my prescription and solution to this is to simply keep on creating!

Wedding Espresso is a magnanimous facilitator of such regular creative output having helped hundreds of Wedding Suppliers the world over to keep busy in times of drought and doubt.

Find out more about our philanthropic work with Wedding Industry Mental Health, get support or become an advocate here:

and let’s build a stronger Wedding Industry together!

#weddingindustrymentalhealth

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